Its glorified rounders and thats final

What to do what to do..January blues are here! Im feeling very tetchy for no good reason.

This is also making me a lot more blunt...Now thinking back I remember a day when I was nice, polite, friendly and sociable...ok I take that back I was never any of those things but Im sure that I was a lot less brutal.

Take yesterday for example. I was in my public law class and ended up (inadvertently mind you) calling one of my classmates a public schoolboy w*nker. Now it actually wasn't aimed at him but when I did realise he had taken that it was.. did I apologise and take it back? No did I b*llocks! I let it hang there in the air (as inside I laughed heartily to myself).

Trouble is I've discovered the one thing over the years that what amuses me most about life are the awkward moments. I absolutely loved the office when it was on TV but I forget that not everyone finds that sort of thing funny.

But is it me?...or is the rest of the world just too sensitive?

Perhaps there is a new years resolution there...be nice to my fellow man (even the public schoolboys with a penchant for cricket)

Lets waste time....stealing cars:)

For me it has not been the best start to 2010. Im actually thinking of taking 2010 back and demanding a refund.

My mum will probably say its because I didn't take the christmas tree down on time. To which I say hush mother...and raise my middle finger :)

Firstly my (not that old) bath has a crack in it. Its not leaking yet but its only a matter of time. Rob is unconvinced at my theory that everything will be fine if we just smother the bottom in poxy resin. But to that I repeat the sentiments previously directed at my mother!

That in itself is annoying but not the end of the world. Following the bath issue I proceeded to lose not one, not two...but actually three pairs of my glasses. Well I say my glasses. One pair was Robs...I think he wants to poxy resin me to the bottom of the bath now.

Again...annoying yes...but the piece de resistance was (while looking for said glasses) I managed to lock my keys in the boot of my car. It wouldn't been to bad had it not been for three things:

1) I do not own a spare key.

2) I am not a member of a breakdown organisation

3) I was parked in a multi-story car park in the centre of town with no other means of getting home.

A very angry Rob (who at this point wanted to poxy resin me to a grand piano and push it off a cliff) and I decided that the only option was to break into my car. Given that neither of us took GCSE car crime at school we didn't really know where to start. (I gather they ran the course at my school judging by the amount of my ex classmates who took up a career in the field...unfortunately I took media studies)

As I had not planned for an evening of grand theft auto I had unfortunately left my crow bar, screw driver, drill, coat hangers & dynamite (for blowing the bloody doors off) at home. So Rob went off to find something blunt and heavy and I went off to find a security guard to explain what we were going to do.

I couldn't find a security guard/policeman/neighbourhood

watch busybody or anyone who gave a monkeys so returned to find Rob brandishing a large brick and deliberating over which window to put it through.

At this point I felt sad however as I was muttering apologies to my precious motor, Rob went for a his first strike. We then discovered that the windows in a ford ka are a lot stronger than they look as it just bounced off! I sighed a sigh of relief and thought that wont work then - we will have to try something else... I had barely finished thinking this when out of the corner of my eye I saw Rob sprinting towards the car with a crazed look in his eye (It might have been my imagination but Im sure I head him do a war cry). This time the window had no chance and in seconds it was snowing cubes of glass.

So what happened then? Were we swooped upon by the rozzers and arrested? Did the car park 'lock down' trapping us in there like the dirty criminals we looked like? Did anyone even care? In a word no. As the window smashed some people in the distance actually cheered and that was it?! I mean what the hell is the world coming to.

So there you have it. Grab yourself a brick, choose a car you like and take a run up. The sad truth is that Probably nobody will stop you.

Shocking!

Anyway so here is the aftermath! Happy new year!

Christmas time (silent night!)

Merry Christmas everybody! Currently sat here stuffing my face with christmas chocolate (now feeling a tiny bit sick) Thought that it has been ages since I have written anything here so I thought Id do my Christmas message (a bit like the queen, and the pope...although I hope nobody tries to wrestle me to the floor - although In Yate this is always a danger :)

I was actually reasonably well prepared this year. Got all my shopping done and was very excited to be putting up my christmas tree. I got out the mince pies and the baileys, put love actually in the dvd player and started to unpack our new christmas tree....

However it seemed to look rather different from the picture on the box....

This is probably one of the most pitiful excuses for a christmas tree I have seen in a long while. But then at £9 from poundstretcher Im not actually sure what I was expecting haha!

In the end though all was well and I proved if you throw enough tinsel at something you can make anything look beautiful (Im dressed head to toe in baubles and tinsel as I type this :)

beautiful :)

Fortunately it seems not everybody struggled with their decorations as I did. These in Bristol city centre made me feel quite festive.

Lastly who could forget the snow which fell and made everything look like a christmas card.

In honesty this year hasn't been the most eventful year of all time mostly due to the fact that we have been saving for weddings etc.

Can't believe that its only nine months to go and this time next year I'll be married! Its incredibly grown up. I still have soo much to do! eek!

Despite being a quiet year...all the same as usual it has been fun and one of the highlights for me has been taking up ice skating lessons with Christina! My bruised knees are feeling sorry for themselves but it is brilliant fun! When I get better Ill post some videos :)

In addition this year I've had the pleasure of meeting some new people and re-connecting with some good old friends via good old facebook. In particular an old friend from my school days who is currently in training with the Royal Marines. I've never been particularly interested in war and have struggled to understand why on earth thousands of men and women choose to put their life on the line for a war which at times seem to have little to do with the western world. Now that I have more of an idea of the hard work our servicemen do for us I have to say I have a massive amount of respect for them.

So lastly on a serious note I wish Danny and the rest of his troop good luck with the rest of their training and hope that they all stay safe wherever they may end up in 2010.

A merry chrismas to you all...

HRH Dawn :)

Danger high voltage

Im bored and want to do something dangerous. Well I probably dont I just think I do. I passed my level 4 ice skating last night (yey!) and one girl told me that she was impressed with how brave I was.

Brave really is wrong. Im just an idiot. I never actually think about the consequences if my actions. Which sometimes can be good as Ive got the guts to do stuff...other times its not so good and lands me in bother.....or with a lot of bruises!

so I probably need saving from myself before I try to go go carting down a hill in our wheelie bin....

actually there is an idea....

Why the mice went blind :)

Well hello

I haven't been here for a while. Ive been a busy girl!

I've started my college courses for work for the year. Public Law and Law of Wills and Succession. The wills bit is fine so far. But Public law is proving to be trickier than I hoped. Firstly I probably should have at least googled what public law was before I enrolled on the course. Sadly it has nothing to do with pubs....so my dreams of being sat in the 'queens head' for the next six months doing 'research' were dashed.

Seems its all about politics.

Political debate is something I tend to avoid if I can help it, yes yes it impacts me directly but Ive always considered the wise words from the Baz Lurhman song

Accept certain inalienable truths:

Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old.

And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

This was perhaps as far as I had got with considering politics, yes I might moan a bit when they put the prices up on beer and petrol but Ive always kind of accepted my fate that I was never going to be happy with the system so why go on about it

Now I do vote..but I wont lie to you I never really make up my mind who for until I get in the booth and then its a close your eyes and hit one with your pencil job...I like to think of it as extreme voting....Red bull will sponsor it one day mark my words!

I therefore am feeling rather out of depth in a class full of intelligent politically aware lawyers So far Ive gone with the nod sagely and look deep in thought approach. But this isnt going to save me forever At some point there is going to be a terrible moment where someone says Dawn what are your views on the constitution? and at that point Id better hope Im sat near the door!

So here is the problem. How do I learn about politics and fast?

I attempted to start by buying a copy of the sunday times last week. I didnt read it as I left it somewhere before I had the chance but I did manage to read a copy of the Sun that was lying around and usefully I learned that scientists have tested sperm on mice and they have found it slows the aging process...

Im not sure how this was discovered or who even came up with the idea. I do have a suspicion that a scientist used this as some form of excuse when he was discovered in his lab with a copy of playboy and some rather traumatised rodents. High five to that man though I say for thinking on his feet :)

anyway Ive lost the plot now which is probably the point maybe its time to for me to accept some more certain inalienable truths... Im never going to be a genius...perhaps Id be better suited to a career in burger king :)

would you like fries with this?

:)

Dawn x

The butterflies and the bees

Well we are back from camp bestival! Im tired just thinking about it

festivals with beds for seats...we like!

When we got there I was a little tired so I had a sleep! Something to do with the fact that Rob made us get up at 430am! Which meant we were one of the first to arrive. Actually quite glad as we have had hell getting into some festivals over the years. Camp bestival was suprisingly easy. No horrors of an hours walk (no exaggeration) to the campsite a la download. Probably something to do with the fact Camp Bestival is a family festival. 5,000 children were in attendance...they were actually everywhere!

I came out of my tent one morning to find a baby sat directly outside looking at me like she owned the place! I had to shoo her off with my broom! (thats a joke before anyone calls the NSPCC)


look at the little blighters..they are everywhere!

On the plus side it made for quite a relaxed atmosphere. I was not woken at 5 in the morning by someone trying to run me over with a trolly or trying to blow my head off with a gas canister...but if Im honest I felt something was missing. There is nothing quite like the fear you feel when going to sleep on the last night at Reading festival followed by the relief when you wake up alive on monday morning! I felt kind of cheated by the fact everyone was tucked up in bed sleeping soundly when I arrived back at my tent...saying that I did get a nice nights sleep so I mustn't grumble too much ;)

Highlights for me had to be Frankie Boyle and Goldie Lookin Chain






the mighty GLC



...and then there was the dancing and lots of it.

Experienced my first silent disco too. Which pleasently suprised me. Oddly I thought that silent meant silent and such a thing would consist of a load of people in a room pilled up dancing to nothing but strobe lighting. But in fact you get headphones with actual music in. I found it rather entertaining to take my headphones off in the middle to see people singing along and going nuts!

disco disco disco

The food was also good. Lovely curry and all sorts of delights! I must do a big shout out to the WI tea ladies...your date and walnut cake rocked my world!

The festival itself was well put together and a good time was had by all. I especially loved the dressing up theme! No where else is it acceptable for me to be dressed in wings and a tutu
me looking lush!

Christina also looking lush

Im not sure Id go again, as it was a tad wholesome for my tastes,

10 out of 10 for family fun!
1 out of 10 for drunken crazy dangerous fun
depends what you are looking for eh!

In addition the fact that you are only allowed to camp from the friday made me feel a little short changed and unlike Christina and Rob Im not a fan of drum and bass so the acts lacked something for me.

I expect in fairness I will be back if have children or they improve the lineup (play some metal for goodness sake!!!) although the festival was only on its second year so I shall have to give them the benefit of the doubt

The gang want to do glastonbury next year which will be nice! Maybe Ill get another chance to wear my wings!

Before I depart I leave you with this...our very own silent disco!

Thanks for having us Mr Da Bank!

Dawn

Camp Bestival baby!!!

Very excited as on the weeked it is time for me to sit in a field dressed as a butterfly (lets hope the sun comes out or I shall be a damp butterfly)

anyway here is a sneak preview of my outfit and my truly awesome wings!!

Anyway I wonder what treats the weekend will have in store. Will Rob manage to put up our tent without being the worlds angriest boy scout, how will christina look dressed as a bee, will Ruby enjoy herself :)?

so many questions.

Looking at the website it does look to be much more of a clean and friendly family festival to what we are used to (probably a good thing! getting old! Im nearly 27 you know!).

I imagine it will be a far cry from the craziness of campsite golf, duracell battery discos, hoedowns, glow sticks, scottish men called lauren, trolly jousting and riot police :)

Though who can tell what you will get when you cross a sparkly butterfly a bee, 12 litres of cider and an angry boy scout? :)

Look out dorset!